Saturday, July 23, 2016

Essay no. 2 On the beach part.1

The beach reaches my expectation, miles of sand in a pristine setting. The crowd is gathered at the entrance, a good 45 minutes walk and I am totally alone, the sound of the waves, a light breeze, shade provided by my umbrella, I am in heaven, I close my eyes and become one with nature. When suddenly what I can only describe as a sonic boom: I hear voices and shouts around me, to my horror a family of five including three screaming young creatures holding neon bright plastic buckets and shovels decided to set camp a 100 feet from my ideal spot. You must be kidding me! Okay, let me get this straight, they walked as long as I did, and then what? Seriously, what were they mindset, what can one conclude from such an odd situation? There is only one sane explanation, they saw me and struck by such a beautiful vision, had to stop to be as near as possible to such an Adonis. Well this Adonis is from New York and is giving you the imaginary finger. I take my things while making as much noise and drama as possible to show them how bothered I am. I am sure they’ve noticed and now realize how inappropriate they were, their guilt is palpable. Quel sans gene!

My tantrum was a bit like when people are talking obnoxiously loud on their cellphones in public and you are giving them the evil eye while hoping they will hear your thoughts, “Yes, you! I am looking at you, you are loud and disturbing me, you should be ashamed of your lack of respect, go to hell!” AS IF they would ever notice you, even better: give a shit. You sometime even look around to see if you can find a sympathizing soul, seldom you do, eyes meet, followed by a quirky smile complemented by a simultaneous shrug of the shoulders: finally someone who understands, someone like you, I am not THAT crazy! Eventually the guilty party leaves, you feel relieved peace has been restored, yet pissed you were not able to get your message across, teach them a lesson of courtesy. I am ME for crying out loud and ME demands respect!
Once, for a brief moment in Union Square, I thought it worked A woman across my bench was blasting in that little plastic thing in her hand; I stared at her, and stared some more, my mind kept shouting, “shut up bitch, shut up.” She suddenly crossed my stare, ended with, “I’ll call you later,” and hang up. Yes, finally, all my efforts paid off, I made a difference, I won! And then it happened, she approached me, smiled and in the softest voice, “I am so sorry I was so loud and disturbed you, I was talking to my mother, she cannot hear very well and got Alzheimer, she couldn’t remember how to get back home and needed my help“ I must have turned as red as the reddest tomato available at the farmer’s market near by, it was August, so red they must have been. I think I blurred a barely audible, “I am so sorry...” To be added to one of my many moments of private humiliation and sheer solitude. ‘

I end my delusion paranoia and off I go, a good fifteen more minutes walk on the sand to reach peace and quiet. The ritual starts, the towel on the sand, finding the rocks for the four corners, opening the umbrella making sure the shade covers the entire towel. Lets get bare, and least but not last, secure my cigarettes and lighter in my espadrilles. A good look round, not a soul, the water is still clear, the sand as pure, lets do this again… A good half hour of pure solitude, no thoughts, a tremendous well being when clang clang clang went the trolley, ding ding ding went the bell, zing zing zing went my heartstrings, for the moment I saw “them..” replace the zing by the vroom, the trolley by a speedboat, the clang with a foghorn. I am not kidding a speedboat is taking anchor with all the bells and whistles ,its occupants taking shore, boombox on hands. WTF?

I could wander another ten minutes, but then I would have to walk all this way back to reach my bike. Lets face it, this is it, the last draw, if you can’t beat them, join them. I am heading back to the crowd, at least I will know what to expect, and “naked people watching” can be as good a pass-time as any. I admit my semi-defeat, fully acknowledging I enjoyed pure moments of bliss on MY deserted beach, I even catch myself laughing about it while walking in the hot sand, I am indeed way too specific and demanding when it comes to the beach. Did I somehow become a jaded New Yorker? Imagine if I’d stay longer in my beloved and adoptive city, Oy vey!!!.  

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